Bryan’s Blog

Live music is all around us. Local bars have nights devoted to it, bands and artists arrive in town for special concerts, local schools produce it. Live music is a wonderful thing. Support it and you may find yourself walking happier throughout your day. There’s something about live music you just can’t get in a recording. Embrace it.

Form letters have a purpose. When you need to send the same information to many people, most will reach for the form letter and let a word processing program complete fields based on a database. Many won’t bother with the database and a good, neutral greeting will be used instead. Sometimes form letters are acceptable. Most of the time they’re not.

In a world where it has become increasingly easy to send mundane and inconsequential items through email, shouldn’t your organization try to rise above the clutter by sending purposeful correspondence? Say you have a new opening in your firm. You conduct the typical job interview process. Say there are 200+ applicants. Will you custom-tailor a response for each individual? Probably not. The majority of the 200 applicants will be fairly served with your form letter.

Once you get to the final interviews, say your top three, however, the game changes. Now you’re not serving your self image by sending a form letter, especially through email. In this instance, you could take the time to call those interviewers, or barring that at least generate a custom, thoughtful message detailing what happened. How long would it take for those two letters? (Remember: the third interviewee was hired so no “thanks anyway” is necessary!) Perhaps half an hour?

What does it say about your brand, your image and your company when you don’t take that half hour? Is it what you want to say? What will those two recipients say to their friends, family and colleagues? Is it what you want them saying? The time to decide is now—before you send those letters.

Seth Godin writes today and asks “Is it worthy?”

I have nothing else to say on this that he doesn’t say. All I know is that he has hit the nail on the head several times these past few weeks and really has had me thinking about my life and how I lead it, my business and how I run it.

Paul Graham presents an article about how to disagree (via DesignView)

If we’re all going to be disagreeing more, we should be careful to do it well. What does it mean to disagree well? Most readers can tell the difference between mere name-calling and a carefully reasoned refutation, but I think it would help to put names on the intermediate stages.

He then presents six types of disagreement from simple name calling to actual refutation of central points. It is a well-thought article and merits reading by anyone who enters into discussions or arguments. The article is geared toward written word, but it also can be used in speaking. It may not be as easy to apply as quickly, but I think we can all appreciate the different levels of verbal communication.

I think the important thing about disagreements is to realize you are disagreeing and that disagreements are o.k. They aren’t the end of a discussion or any relationship (from strictly business through death-do-us-part). They provide, sometimes, needed stimulus to bring conflict to the forefront and often lead to resolutions that make the discussion more interesting or the relationship more secure and fruitful.

I look forward to disagreements in my life. Usually that means I will be learning something. I still recall an incident from almost a decade ago that really opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. It managed to steer my musical development in a new direction that ultimately led to my personal style. Was I upset when the disagreement first started? You bet. But I managed to keep an open mind and continue the engagement of discussion on a healthy level. I think we all can do this if we strive hard enough. It’s important to keep the flow of communication open and to trust that everyone involved wants the best for everyone at heart. It’s sometimes a big leap of faith, but a leap worth taking every time.

It’s been a busy week with Holy Week and everything else. I will write more in depth later, but right now I just wanted to include a small quote.

“The hardest thing in this life is to live in it.” — Buffy Summers, “The Gift” (Joss Whedon)

Anyone who has watched the show will understand. For those who haven’t, don’t worry. I happen to enjoy life quite a bit right now, but that statement is still true. There is nothing harder to do in life than get out of bed every morning and breathe, and most of us can do that just fine. Anything else that seems impossible is merely difficult and perhaps highly improbable, but that does not mean we should not try. Give ourselves to everything we do, give 100 per cent. As a Russian figure skating coach character says in The Cutting Edge “Halfway is bullshit.” Or in a bit more geek-speak: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

If we cannot give what we do everything we are, if we cannot have passion, if we cannot believe strongly in life and love and everything else…maybe it’s time to consider something else. If you don’t love your job, find another one. If you don’t have passion for your hobbies, why even bother?

I believe that giving your whole being to something or someone doesn’t mean you have nothing left. We are remarkable creatures and giving your whole self to an idea or belief or person means only that you have more to discover. Every time we fall in love we find that, amazingly, we can love more than we thought. Every time there is an addition to our family that capability to love increases. There is no end to it, and that’s true of everything we are, everything we do. Unfortunately, it’s also true for negative emotions. The more we give in to them, the more they can enter our lives and control us. It is a choice we make, though it can be a very difficult choice. At times it may not even seem like a choice to us, just to those around us. As someone who was ruled by negativity for too long, I can attest that it is challenging to rise above it. But if you have a support network, and truly understanding and loving people, you can overcome negativity and begin to move toward the world of life and giving (instead of hatred and taking).

Have you given yourself to something today?

As a brief follow-up to my last post, my good friend from Wichita reminded me about this essay in the This I Believe series. The essay, “Creating Our Own Happiness,” is written by Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne. I don’t have anything else to say beyond what’s in the essay and what I said yesterday. Check it out, though. While you’re there, read a few of the other essays, too. Most of them are quite good.

Lea Woodward, over at Freelance Switch, lays out why average can become exceptional. It’s a topic I’ve considered for a long time, especially during my recent soul-searching and life-structuring. (It relates to the concept of grade inflation, too.) She mentions what happens when you have a society that believes in acheiving greatness as a means for happiness and success:

…[Y]ou have a group of people who never quite feel good enough, hold themselves up to those who are exceptional and will always find themselves wanting; and you have a group or people who are exceptional yet often feel misunderstood and consequently are often lonely!

What a horrible place to live, and yet that is what we are doing more often than not. What truly makes someone exceptional, I believe, is being able to do something s/he loves every day.

If I wake up in the morning, and I get to do something I love, it is a successful day. Usually, for me, that’s designing something, writing or playing music, or programming. If we’re talking about things that make me happy regardless of monetary (if any) return, then you could also add playing a game, taking a walk or riding my bike, or spending time with someone I value.

One of the hardest things for me is realizing that you can do any of those things and it is a successful day. There’s no magic formula that says x% with friends/family, x% working, x% alone. Every day is unique and that is a wonderful thing. I am beliving that more and more and strive each day to create that feeling. I could go a day without seeing anyone, and I would be fine. It is a hard thing to realize, but realizing it is important. Some days I forget, and I have to hope that on those days I don’t get too down on myself or others. More often than not, though, every day is wonderful.

Today I read good blogs, wrote two entries, programmed for a Web site and will be conducting a steel drum ensemble rehearsal tonight. It is a wonderfully, average, exceptional day. How’s yours?

I played an unexpected round of golf this morning and realized that golf is a great metaphor for Life.

You have set goals that fluctuate daily, and are not horribly specific. There is an overall goal and many small goals. You make choices at every turn and more than one choice is good. An arsenal of tools is available. Friends, associates, professionals and even people you don’t know provide advice and criticism. In the end, only you decide your course of action and reap any rewards and handle any upsets.

In golf, granted, the goals are slightly more specific–hit the ball to the fairway, avoid the sand traps and water hazards, land on the green (preferably with two or more shots remaining before par) and hit the ball into the little hole (all hopefully under “par”). At each step of the way, your tools consist of the clubs in your bag, the balls you hit and the mechanics in your swing. Any training you’ve had will help your decision, and you can turn to friends and colleagues to offer advice; you’re free to ignore any of that. Sometimes your shots will be almost perfect; often they’ll be slightly good; sometimes they’ll land you in trouble. People can learn much about others by seeing how they handle the duffed shots in golf. Will he play it exactly where it is? Will she cut that corner or play a “safe” recovery? Will the infamous “foot wedge” be deployed?

Regardless of how you play the game of golf (or life), you are defined by the decisions you make and how you handle the consequences. Employ a foot wedge with great humor and people will hardly say a word. Continue to force the same situation with a bad temper and people will begin to think that’s all you have. As a freelancer, that sort of decision is doubly important. Your personality will often shine through more since you don’t have the luxury of hiding behind the corporate identity. Don’t take chances with your clients: keep your humor above the fold.

Use the tools you have available, and seek advice where you can. Some people are lucky enough to have a caddy (in life or golf). When you have someone you can trust to that degree, do so. They’re not out there to see anything but you do your best. In life, this person can be a good friend, a mentor or a family member. Don’t abuse the relationship, but don’t worry that you’re a burden, either.

So whether you’re designing a new publication, writing a chamber symphony or teeing off on the ninth, remember: use the tools you own, the relationships you’ve fostered and a bit of luck to hit the small goals, but recover gracefully when you hit the hazards.

I’ll see you on the course.